For new believers in Christ, finding a church community is an exciting and vital part of growing in faith. The local church is meant to be a place of worship, teaching, fellowship, and spiritual nourishment. However, not every church operates in a Christ-honoring way. Unfortunately, spiritual abuse can occur when leaders misuse their authority to control, manipulate, or exploit others under the guise of faith.
What Is Spiritual Abuse?
Recognizing spiritual abuse early is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship with God and ensuring you are in a biblically sound church. This guide will help you identify signs of spiritual abuse and provide steps to take if you find yourself in such a situation.
Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of religious authority uses their influence to dominate, deceive, or exploit others. It can take many forms, including emotional manipulation, legalism, coercion, and twisting Scripture for personal gain. It often leads to fear, guilt, confusion, and an unhealthy dependence on leaders rather than Christ.
Unlike healthy spiritual guidance, which encourages growth and freedom in Christ (John 8:36), spiritual abuse seeks to control and oppress.
How It Shows Up in Churches or Relationships
Spiritual abuse is not always obvious at first. It can be subtle and cloaked in religious language or spiritual zeal. In churches or personal relationships, it may manifest through:
- Authoritarian leadership with no accountability
- Twisting Scripture to control behavior
- Fear-based teachings that induce guilt or shame
- Legalistic rules replacing grace
- Isolation from outside influence
- Financial manipulation
- Condemning those who leave
- A lack of Christ-centered teaching
These warning signs indicate a spiritual culture that prioritizes control over Christ and obedience to people over obedience to God.
“In abusive spiritual systems, people are told that their worth and acceptance are dependent upon their performance. In healthy spiritual systems, people understand that their worth and acceptance are based on who they are in Christ.”
— David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
What Jesus and Scripture Say About False Teachers
Jesus did not shy away from warning us about spiritual deception. In Matthew 7:15, He says, “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.”
False teachers often present themselves as godly, but their fruit reveals otherwise. Scripture warns us to be discerning (1 John 4:1), to test teachings against God’s Word (Acts 17:11), and to avoid those who distort the gospel for personal gain (Galatians 1:6–9; 2 Timothy 3:5).
A healthy church points you to Christ, not to a man or a ministry.
Healing from Manipulation or Control
If you’ve been hurt by spiritual manipulation, know that healing is possible. God is not the author of confusion or fear (2 Timothy 1:7). He sees your pain and desires to restore you.
Healing may include:
- Processing your experiences with a Christian counselor or trusted mentor
- Relearning the true character of God through Scripture
- Allowing space to grieve, pray, and rest
- Rebuilding your identity in Christ, not in others’ expectations
Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Healing takes time, but God’s grace is patient and sufficient.
Finding a Healthy, Christ-Centered Community
Not all churches are harmful. There are many Christ-centered communities committed to truth, love, and accountability.
Look for churches that:
- Preach the whole counsel of Scripture
- Promote servant leadership and shared accountability
- Encourage questions and open dialogue
- Emphasize grace, not guilt
- Foster genuine relationships, not blind loyalty
A healthy church will walk with you, not control you. It will always seek to build up the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:11–16) and reflect the character of Jesus.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” As a follower of Jesus, it’s important to remain spiritually grounded so you’re not easily led astray.
How to Guard Your Heart and Faith
Ways to guard your faith include:
- Staying rooted in the Bible yourself—not just relying on sermons
- Cultivating a personal prayer life and intimacy with God
- Asking the Holy Spirit for discernment
- Being cautious of any leader who claims absolute authority
Remember: your faith is built on Christ, not a church system or a spiritual leader. If anything or anyone tries to take the place of Jesus in your life, it’s time to pause and pray.
Spiritual abuse is not God’s design for His church. Jesus came to set us free (Galatians 5:1), and a true church should reflect His love, grace, and truth. If you find yourself in an unhealthy spiritual environment, know that God sees you, cares for you, and desires for you to be in a place where you can grow in faith without manipulation or fear.
No church is perfect, but a biblical church should lead you closer to Christ, not control you through fear and deception. As you grow in your walk with God, trust the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth and give you wisdom to discern healthy, Christ-centered leadership.
If you have experienced spiritual abuse, you are not alone. God can restore and redeem every hurt, bringing you into a deeper understanding of His love and truth.
